1. Use Labeled Praise to Reinforce the Good

Instead of general praise like “Good job,” PCIT teaches caregivers to use labeled praise—specific and enthusiastic feedback that tells your child exactly what they did right.

✅ Say this: “I love how gently you’re petting the dog!”
❌ Instead of: “You’re such a good kid.”

Why it works: Labeled praise increases the likelihood your child will repeat the positive behavior. It also builds their self-esteem and gives them clear guidance about what behaviors are expected and appreciated.

2. Practice “Special Play Time” Every Day

Even just 5–10 minutes of child-directed play time daily can make a huge difference. In PCIT, we call this Child-Directed Interaction (CDI)—a special, uninterrupted time where your child takes the lead and you follow with enthusiasm, warmth, and curiosity.

Focus on:

Avoiding commands, questions, and criticism during this time

Describing their play

Praising appropriate behavior

Imitating their actions

Why it works: This type of focused attention improves your bond, reduces negative behaviors, and increases your child’s confidence and cooperation.

3. Set Clear, Calm Limits with Confidence

When it’s time to give a direction, PCIT emphasizes clear, calm, and direct commands—not suggestions or threats.

✅ Say this: “Please put your shoes on now.”
❌ Instead of: “Do you want to get your shoes?” or “If you don’t get your shoes, you won’t get a treat!”

Why it works: Clear instructions help children know exactly what is expected. When paired with consistency and follow-through, it strengthens their trust in your leadership.

4. Ignore Strategically (Yes, Really!)

Some minor behaviors—like whining, backtalk, or loud grumbling—are often better handled with strategic ignoring than direct attention. In PCIT, this is called “active ignoring.”

How it works:

As soon as the child stops the negative behavior and switches to something appropriate, offer praise and re-engage.

Don’t give eye contact, verbal responses, or facial expressions during the behavior.

Why it works: Attention—even negative—can reinforce misbehavior. Strategic ignoring helps extinguish it, while rewarding more positive choices.

5. Stay Regulated to Help Your Child Regulate

Your calm is contagious. PCIT reminds us that a regulated parent helps create a regulated child.

Practice:

• Taking deep breaths before responding
• Keeping a neutral, firm tone
• Reminding yourself that staying calm is more effective than escalating

Why it works: Children mirror the emotional cues of adults. Your ability to stay composed during conflict teaches them how to manage their own emotions over time.